Pet Memorials from the Heart Blog

When you lose a beloved pet, there are many ways to pay tribute and to memorialize that special friend, and you don’t have to limit yourself to just one way. One of the many ways people are memorializing their pets is by creating a special memorial web page at one of a number of online pet memorial sites. When we share the story of our pet’s life with the world, it not only does honor to our pet, but it helps us with the grieving process as well. The benefit of doing this online is that it is fairly simple to do, and it instantly makes a beautiful visual memorial that the whole world can see.

Online pet memorial sites allow you to create a special customized web page, upload photos, write a tribute, add audio and video, or include a guest book where friends and family can leave condolences. Every site offers different features, some for free and some for a small fee. Here are just a few of the many online pet memorial sites available.

• Critters.com. This site offers both free and paid options.  Free memorials are unlimited text only; paid pages ($35 one-time fee) allow you to post photos and other extras. You may try the full-featured memorial free for the first 14 days, then decide whether or not to pay the fee.
• Immortal Pets. Offers only a full-featured memorial for a one-time fee of $35, with a free 14-day trial. Upload up to 100 photos, and choose from a number of template designs.
• Youns.com Online Pet Memorials. This is a FREE memorial site that allows written tributes, photos and guestbook features. As an alternative to paying, the site invites you to donate to a charity of your own choosing.
• Rainbow Bridge. Another FREE site, with simple text and photo uploads.
• Online-Pet-Memorials.com. Another FREE site, with the ability to add text and five photos. Perhaps not as user-friendly as other sites, but also offers articles and other resources.
• Pets-Memories.com. This is a full-featured site with lots of extras. It will one day be a paid site, but currently it is in its Beta phase, which means right now it is FREE for users—making it currently the best value on this list. If you sign up during the Beta phase, you will have unlimited lifetime access and never have to pay for the service.

Obviously, online pet memorial sites are just one way to honor your pet, and will generally not carry the same weight as a tangible, permanent pet memorial such as the Loving Hearts Tribute Series. However, setting up a pet memorial web site is just one additional resource you have available to help with the healing process.

These days, it’s becoming much more common for people to hold a pet memorial service when they lose a pet. Because the grief of losing a pet can be just as acute as losing a family member, it makes sense to process that grief in a similar manner—and a memorial service is a healthy part of the process. Whether you bury your pet or choose cremation, if you are planning a memorial service for your pet, here are some ideas to help make your pet memorial service as meaningful as possible.

• Write a eulogy. It can be very meaningful simply to share about the life of the pet, and what that pet meant to you. You or someone close to you can memorialize the pet by writing an official eulogy and sharing it during the service. Share fond or funny memories, things that remind you of the happy times you shared.
• Display memorabilia. Consider having a place where photographs of your pet can be displayed, along with toys or sentimental items.
• Open the microphone. Whether or not you use an actual microphone, you can open the service up for anyone to come forward and share a few words about the pet and what he/she meant to them.
• Poetry readings. There are plenty of inspiring poems to be found on the Internet, or if a friend or family member is particularly creative, a special poem can be written and read in honor of the pet.
• Display memorial artwork. Art is by nature inspirational, and can add meaning to any pet memorial service. Involve children by letting them draw pictures of the pet, or create a family art box with sentimental items. You can also commission a meaningful piece of art, such as the Loving Hearts Tribute Series.

Besides these basic ideas, a pet memorial service can take many forms. You can have a simple ceremony in the backyard, scatter the pet’s ashes over a favorite play area, or have a full-blown funeral complete with a pet casket.  It is up to you, your budget, and most importantly, what will bring the most meaning for you and your family.

For obvious reasons, we at the Loving Hearts Tribute Series are partial to pet memorial artwork. It’s what we do.  But it’s important to know that memorial artwork has more significance than just a thoughtful gift in a time of loss. It can also make a meaningful heart connection, and therefore it can be an agent of healing.

You see, art is more than just creative designs or pretty pictures; art comes from a place of emotion, and thus it can speak to people on an emotional level where words alone cannot. Art can sometimes speak to the soul more than a thousands words of sincere consolation. So when you give an appropriate gift of memorial artwork to someone who has lost a pet, it has the potential to reach the deeper places of the heart.

One of the reasons our heart-themed pieces are abstracts (as opposed to portrait-like depictions of the lost pet) is that we want our artwork to make that heart connection.  When the brush strokes don’t depict a specific object, it leaves more room for interpretation—it can make the artwork speak more on an emotional level because it isn’t telling the brain to identify anything in particular. People see in the painting what they need to see.  When we add the ashes or fur or feathers of the lost pet to the final coat, it also forms an association with the pet, so when the bereaved looks at the painting, it speaks emotionally about the pet—even though that dog, cat or bird has not been specifically depicted in the artwork.  In our opinion, it just gives our memorial artwork more of an ability to speak at a deeper level.

The point is that pet loss is more than just facing the fact that a pet is absent. When an emotional bond has been formed between a person and his/her pet, and then the pet is removed, it tears the soul, so to speak, leaving a wound. We want the art to speak at an emotional level so that the wound can be healed. We don’t want to create artwork that just reminds people of death; we want our paintings to speak of life and love, and fond memories—to be a lasting tribute to the pet long after the grief subsides.  This is why our aim with our memorial artwork is to make a heart connection.

When most people think of pet memorial artwork, they probably think of pet portraits done in memory of a lost pet. They might not readily associate a work of abstract art as a pet memorial. That’s understandable.  But we at the Loving Hearts Tribute Series feel that creating abstract heart-themed artwork better serves our purposes, and in some ways can even be more beneficial than doing straight pet portraits.  Here are some of the reasons why we have chosen abstract pet memorial art versus portraits:

1. Abstract art can speak at an emotional level. A pet portrait can obviously be more easily associated with a particular pet, since it is supposed to be a direct depiction.  But our aim is not to depict an image, but speak more emotionally. Sometimes (not always) a portrait can get in the way of deeper experience. We desire our pet memorials to focus more on the emotional connection with the pet, and we feel abstract art does that more effectively.
2. Abstract art is more subtle than portraiture. Although our artwork is definitely a memorial for your pet, there might be times when you don’t want to talk about it with everyone. Thus, we choose a more subtle form of memorial, including your pet’s ashes in the final layer, so it is definitely associated with your special friend—it’s just not obvious to everyone who looks at it.  You have the freedom to share the story behind the painting, or not to share it. It’s up to your discretion.
3. Abstract art is more open to interpretation. With portraiture, it’s very easy to begin analyzing the artwork, to draw comparisons between the painting and the pet as to whether it’s an accurate depiction.  Abstract art bypasses all that, allowing for a more open interpretation. People see in the art what they need to see—and feel what they need to feel.

As with all art, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and we realize that no piece of art speaks to everyone.  Some might prefer a pet portrait as a pet memorial, and that’s certainly okay. We prefer abstract pet memorial art over portraits because we feel it has the potential to speak to more people on more levels—and most importantly, we feel it can speak best to the heart of the person who has suffered loss.

It is the holiday season again, and for many people that includes the headache of deciding what gifts to buy for friends and family.  That’s a bit ironic isn’t it?  Isn’t this supposed to be a time of festivity? A time of “comfort and joy?” If we aren’t careful, we can get so caught up in the stress and pressure of buying gifts (many of which lack thought and meaning, and many of which are underappreciated), that we miss the whole point.

For someone who has lost a pet, especially during the current year, the holidays can be particularly difficult.  This is a person who especially needs comfort and joy during the holidays.  Thankfully, with a bit of thought, if there is such a person in your life, you can give a gift that has exceptional meaning—like a piece of art that memorializes the lost pet.

Why give pet memorial art as a holiday gift?  Art has a way of speaking to us on an emotional level that other gifts cannot duplicate. We at the Loving Heart Tribute Series believe this is especially true of our abstract heart-themed art pieces, because abstract art is more about feeling than a visual replication of an object, person or pet.  People see in our art pieces what they need to see; and when the artwork is personalized by including some of the pet’s ashes in the final coat, it speaks to the fond memories that particular pet brought in life.  In this way, we like to think that our art has the ability to bring that much-needed comfort and joy, not just at the holidays, but at any time of year.

If you’re caught up in more of the stress of the season than the joy of it, you may have at least one opportunity to bypass the madness and give a gift that can actually carry a deep level of meaning.  If you know someone who is grieving the loss of a pet during this season, the gift of pet memorial art can truly bring comfort and joy.

If you have recently had to say goodbye to a beloved pet, there are a number of meaningful and creative ways that you can honor the life of your special friend. Your pet’s life is a gift, and doing something special in honor of that pet is a way of giving thanks for that gift.  Here are some ideas for how you can do this.

• Plant a tree in your pet’s name. Check around your local area to see if there is a place where you could plant a tree in honor of your pet. Occasionally city parks will allow this, or perhaps a landscaping or reforestation project would welcome a tree.  If you can’t find anywhere else, you can plant a tree in your own backyard, if you like.
• Make a donation to a pet charity.  This can be especially meaningful, especially during this time of the year.  Find an animal shelter or research organization you believe in, and make a donation to honor the life of your friend.
• Write a memorial or eulogy.  You can make this either public or private, whichever you prefer.  There are pet memorial websites that allow you to share the story of your pet’s life, or you can set up your own pet memorial blog, if you like. You might like to write a poem to honor your pet.  Whatever is meaningful for you is acceptable; there is no right or wrong way to do it.
• Commission a work of art as a pet memorial. It can be especially healing to do this, because it is a way of turning the grief of loss into a celebration of life.  This is really what the Loving Hearts Tribute Series is about; we create our abstract heart-themed artwork to celebrate the lives of our pets, as a way of inspiring others rather than just marking loss.

However you decide to honor the life of your special friend, we recommend that it be something that truly celebrates life.  Although it hurts to lose a pet, it’s important to honor the life you shared together.  That, we believe, is a crucial part of the healing process.

If you’ve ever had to deal with the loss of a pet, you know that it can be as painful as losing a family member—especially when you’ve grown attached to that pet in life. One of the most common questions people grieving pet loss ask themselves goes something like this:  Am I crazy to feel this way?

No, you’re not.

Pets become family to us, and there is no right or wrong amount of grief you should feel when you lose a pet—nor is there a right or wrong way to process that grief.  You feel what you feel, and that’s a personal matter—as is the way you handle the grieving process.  The only way to heal is really to go through it.

That said, there are some things that might be helpful to getting you past the loss, hopefully with a little less stress and pain.  Here are some practical ways for dealing with the loss of a pet.

• Have arrangements made ahead of time. Having to make decisions on how to handle the remains, whether to have a memorial, etc., can add so much more additional stress to the grief you will feel.  Just as it helps to have funeral arrangements made in advance for a family member, it helps if those details are pre-determined for your pet, so that when the time comes, you can concentrate on processing the grief without having to make dozens of decisions.  If you know your pet is approaching his/her final days, talk to your vet about arrangements.
• Allow yourself to grieve. Putting off the grieving process only delays it, and can be unhealthy.  Don’t invent feelings that aren’t there—remember, there’s no right or wrong way to feel—but be honest with yourself about your feelings, and give yourself permission to weep for your pet.
• Talk to someone who understands. Talking about the life of your pet, your feelings about losing that pet, and anything related to it, helps you process grief. Family members and understanding friends (such as other pet owners) can really help here, but if you honestly have no one like that, there’s no shame in talking to your vet about finding a support group or pet bereavement counselor to help you through this season.
• Memorialize your pet. Pet memorials work the same way that human memorials do: they help us celebrate and honor a life even as we say our tearful goodbyes.  Find one or more creative ways to honor your pet; hold a burial or memorial service, or include some of your pet’s cremated remains in a Loving Hearts Tribute Series pet memorial painting.

Again, there’s no prescribed path to take in dealing with the loss of a pet; you are ultimately the one who must decide the healthiest way for you to process your pain. Just know that you’re in good company, and that there are creative and healthy ways that you can get through this difficult time.

Regardless of what some might say, it’s natural for us to grieve the loss of our pets.  What we might not realize, however, is that the healing process is helped along when we celebrate the life of that pet, rather than just mourn its passing.

If you’ve ever lost a family member, like I have, you know the loss of a pet can feel a lot like that.  And just like grieving a family member, dealing with grief over losing a dog, cat, bird or other pet you loved is a healthy thing.  In fact, it’s UN-healthy not to grieve.

However, there was a lot more to that pet than just its final moments; it lived a full life, giving you lots of joy, laughter and love.  That’s a truth worth celebrating, and focusing on those moments of joy can help with the grieving.  Here are just a few ways you could creatively celebrate the life of your pet:

• Hold a pet wake. There might be something to this Irish-Catholic tradition.  While wakes are associated with funerals, they have evolved over time into a party in remembrance of the deceased. This kind of party would be most effective with a family pet, where there are several family members and friends whose lives were impacted by the pet.  Consider throwing a pet wake that focuses on  recalling fond memories.
• Join a cause. Often, people who lose a loved one to a particular disease or a preventable tragedy (e.g., drunk driving) find healing by becoming activists to find a cure for that disease (or, as the case may be, a remedy for injustice).  It obviously won’t apply in all cases, but if your pet died due to a disease or a preventable tragedy, there might be a foundation dedicated to stopping that fate from befalling other pets. You can celebrate your pet’s life by working with a cause relevant to your pet.
• Memorialize your pet with something joyful. Beyond just a grave marker or cremation urn, which only serve as reminders of death, some people opt to memorialize a pet through artistic pet memorials.  This is exactly what the Loving Hearts Tribute Series was intended to do.  Art serves to inspire and stir our souls, and by including your pet’s cremains in a work of art, you allow that pet to be part of something new and joyful, something that serves as a reminder of life.

It’s both acceptable and healthy to grieve over losing a pet.  Embrace that moment, but don’t stay there indefinitely.  Your pet’s life is a life worth celebrating, and when you do it, you honor your pet’s memory while helping to heal your own heart.

Grieving over a loss is normal, and there is not a right or wrong way when it comes to processing grief.  We are all different, and we respond to loss in different ways.  One thing that has proven beneficial for a lot of people is to process their grief through art.

It’s so important to be supportive and understanding when someone we know and love experiences loss, like the loss a beloved pet, for example.  We never know what that loss is like unless we’ve been there—and even then, there is no set way to respond to it. That said, many people have found the arts, like painting, writing, poetry, music and other art forms, to be a powerful tool in the healing process—not just in creating the art, but in experiencing it.  Here are some reasons why this might be the case:

• Art is a reflection of emotion. Art is often governed by rules, but art is not rational—and in many cases it isn’t even verbal.  Art has a way of expressing things that words alone cannot.  Even creative writing or poetry has the freedom to put words into an emotional context. When we create art, or experience art that relates to how we feel, something cathartic seems to happen in our souls.  Grief is highly emotional, so it makes sense that art and creativity can be part of that process. (This is one reason why counselors ask children to draw pictures as part of their counseling—it helps things come out that kids can’t verbalize.)
• Art is therapeutic. As that catharsis I mentioned earlier takes place, something seems to reset inside us.  Besides that, there is something calming and soothing about inspirational art—it brings comfort when other things cannot.
• Art is a sign of life. Art is creative, and creativity in general has to do with creating something new.  When art is created, something is brought to life.  This can really help bring balance when we have experienced loss and death.

The whole concept behind the Loving Hearts Tribute Series—the limited-edition giclee prints we offer here, containing the cremains of your pet—was actually born out of the grieving process.  The original artist turned to her own art to process the loss of her own pet, and found it to be a therapeutic experience. As she began creating these works for others encountering loss, she found it to be therapeutic for them, also—even though they weren’t the ones doing the painting.  There is definitely something to be said about processing grief through art. What better way to do that than to include the remains of a pet into the very piece of art being created in honor of that pet?

The book Merle’s Door by Ted Kerasota is a tribute to Merle, his beloved dog found in the wilderness of Wyoming. It is not only a wonderful biography, but also offers readers well-studied tips and facts about the evolution of dogs and human relationships.

This heartwarming book is also one of the highest tributes to a dog ever published. Not just a pet memorial, Kerasote’s story takes place in Kelly, Wyoming, where he and Merle enjoyed nature together every day, hunting, fishing, or just hanging out.   Merle was not only the author’s best friend, but he was a teacher about why it’s important to let a dog be a dog.

Merle’s Door tells readers about the origins of dogs, how dogs think, and the human to dog relationship. Many dog owners don’t let their dogs be dogs, and even today’s popular dog trainers advise owners to be strong alphas to our pets, however Kerasote has proved otherwise.

Kerasote talks about giving Merle his own dog door so that he could come and go as he desired. The result was that he achieved the ability to solve problems on his own. The biggest lesson of the book is that we should replace our dog’s leashes with trust and respect for them to be truely happy.

Merle passed on at the age of 14 on June 10, 2004, and Kerasote and friends celebrated his death, remembering him by telling stories. Merle was not cremated and placed in pet casket or urn, but his life was celebrated in the tradition of Tibet, buried near two Tibetan prayer flags on Kerasote’s property with a golden “kata” around his neck. The kata is a silk scarf used by Tibetans as a symbol of good luck upon their departure.

Today, new and unique ways to celebrate the death of our pets include tribute art, and other very personal pet memorials. The Loving Hearts Tribute Series includes hand finished, signed and numbered, limited edition, giclee pet memorials. The paintings  on gallery wrapped canvas can hang framed or not.

Unlike urns, pet grave markers or other traditional pet memorials, Loving Heart Pet Memorials allow you to celebrate the spirit of the life of your beloved pet  every day, joyously.  Loving Heart Tribute Pet Memorials are embedded with a portion of your pet’s ashes in tribute to your loved one.  The ultimate obituary in celebration of Merle’s life is the book, Merle’s Door. For more about Ted Kerasote, go to http://www.kerasote.com/.